Megan turns 5 years old!!

My dear sweet Megan,

Where do I begin? I promised back in July when Matthew turned seven that I would write each of you for your birthday to tell the story of how you were born. Your birth story is full of adventure, which is why I have taken a while to get it posted. I am not exactly sure how much to share, but here goes anyway.

After Matthew turned one, Mommy and Daddy decided we were ready to try for number 2. We knew it was rather soon, but because it took a while to get pregnant with Matthew we decided it would probably be the same the second time around. Boy were we wrong. Much to our shock we got pregnant on the first try in July of 2003. Just as we were getting used to the idea of having two under two, the baby in Mommy's tummy stopped growing and I had a miscarriage in late August. It was not meant to be this time for us. We were sad at this loss, but hopeful to start trying again soon.

After we got the okay from my doctor, we did try again and were thrilled to find out in January of 2004 that we were pregnant and due in September. Because of the miscarriage, Mommy and Daddy were cautiously optimistic and decided to wait until I was 12 weeks to share our good news. Twelve weeks came and Mommy sent out an email to our friends and family to let them know we were pregnant.

We were still living downtown at this time and the next day Matthew went to spend the day with Nana and Grandpa Weier in Lake Bluff. That evening on my drive home from picking him up I stopped to get gas. As I was pumping gas, I looked down to notice I had a flat tire! What rotten luck. It was now getting late and past Matthew's bedtime. As we were waiting for the tire to be fixed, I remember going to the restroom only to discover I was having what I thought was another miscarriage, only this time it was much worse. I could not believe this was happening again! Why did I send that email out already?

Daddy was out of town on a business trip, so I called Nana and Grandpa Weier to come and get us. Nana Weier and Nana Zeller took me to the emergency room at Northwestern Hospital in the middle of the night. I will never forget the shock of hearing your heartbeat when the doctor came in to check me. An ultrasound was done and to my amazement there you were, perfectly formed and very much alive. I was so relieved but very scared when I was told you were a "threatened miscarriage". I could not understand what was happening to me and felt completely helpless for not being able to control my body. Daddy came home early and we went to see Dr. McCloskey the next day. I was diagnosed with a large subchorionic hematoma. Basically, a layer of the placenta was causing me to hemorrhage. I was told that there was nothing that could be done and if the bleeding did not resolve on it's own by twenty weeks, the risk of preterm labor was very high and we could lose our baby. I was put on bed rest and told to wait and see. Oh, and I was not to lift anything. Did they forget I had an eighteen month old at home?

So we waited...and waited...and waited. For six weeks, Mommy hemorrhaged but the great news was that every time we went in for an ultrasound, there you were waiting for us to see you! You were such an amazing sight to see every time. We were so proud of you for being such a fighter and never giving up. You kept me going. And by the grace of God, the bleeding literally stopped on the last day of my 19th week!

This time around, Daddy really wanted to know if you were a boy or a girl. Mommy still wanted to be surprised. So we had the ultrasound technician put the answer in a sealed envelope which Mommy got to hold onto. Most of our family reading this will be surprised to learn, that Matthew gave Daddy the sealed envelope on Father's Day of 2004 to open. Megan, I want you to know that when Daddy opened the envelope that Father's Day, he immediately started crying from joy of knowing you were going to be our first little girl! He and I were both over the top with happiness. Our little fighter this whole time was a very strong young lady and we were so in love with you and could not wait to meet you. But we kept our little secret between just the four of us until you were born.

The rest of the pregnancy went much, much better with little to no events. During this time, Mommy and Daddy decided to make the official move out to the suburbs. We sold our condo in the city and started building our house in West Dundee. Unfortunately, the house was not going to be ready until the end of September and you were due September 15th. Nana and Grandpa Weier were kind enough to let us live with them for a few months. On September 14th, Daddy and I went back downtown to Northwestern Hospital and you were delivered by scheduled cesarean section. You were tiny compared to Matthew and weighed in at only 6 lbs. 9oz. We named you Megan Lynsie. Megan because one of it's meanings is "mighty, strong one." That you most certainly already proved to us. Lynsie is a combination of the last three letters of each of your nana's names, "Marilyn" and "Susie."

So here you finally were. What a long, hard wait it was. You had a few hiccups after birth and needed to be put in NICU because you were not transitioning very well and your blood sugar was low. But Mommy and Daddy already knew what a little fighter you were and did not worry (too much). After five days, we were released from the hospital. Shortly thereafter we moved into our new house and started our new life together in West Dundee as a beautiful family of four.

Megan, you have taught me so much that I don't even know how to express it all. You continue to be a strong young lady and want to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible just like your Daddy. I have always said - you may have blond hair and blues eyes like Mommy, but your personality is all Daddy! He and I both love you so much. We love your determination, your ability to learn quickly, your persistence and curiosity. You are so sweet and want to help me as much as possible around the house. And you are the best sister in the world to Matthew and Hannah. Although you can flare a good temper every now and again, you will not let anyone take you down and I love you for that competitiveness.

You have been my greatest comfort since Daddy died. You always give me hugs and tell me how sorry your are that Daddy died. You keep telling me "Mommy don't ever stop loving Daddy because he will always love you." God bless you Megan. I love you so much and am so happy that God blessed us with you as our first daughter. I look forward to watching you continue to grow up into beautiful woman.

Love you baby girl,
Mommy

Happy Labor Day!

Hope everyone is doing well. I cannot believe we are already into September! I was looking forward to a very boring and uneventful August and now that it is over, I realize it was our busiest month of the summer. Believe it or not, my kids are still NOT back to school yet so the summer is not officially over for me. Megan starts PK4 on September 9th and Matthew goes to 2nd grade on September 14th. What does this mean? Mommy is going a little bit stir crazy. The rest of the neighborhood has been back in school for a few weeks now and my kids are REALLY bored! So I have decided to throw everyone in the car and head to Indianapolis for the Labor Day weekend. We will visit with my sister, Jaime, in Carmel AND Greg and Erin Weier who recently moved from Kansas to Indianapolis. (The Kansas Weiers are now officially the Indiana Weiers!) The kids are looking forward to playing with their cousins, Luke Feller and Amelia and Graham Weier.

Before leaving, I just wanted to send a quick update to let everyone know we are all hanging in there. We have made it past the three month mark since Chris died. I have been gently reminded several times by my bereavement counselor that this is when the "anesthesia starts to wear off and the pain is really felt." Oh great - this on top of heading into the holidays. What fun! Apparently (as she explained), when someone close to you dies unexpectedly your body goes into shock and starts overproducing endorphins to survive. At around the three to six month mark, your body stops producing the extra endorphins and that is when you really have to start dealing with the pain of loss. And we all know that the only way to deal with that pain is by walking through it head on. No detours allowed here!

No only is this happening to me but I have even noticed a change in the kids, even Hannah. She woke up crying the other morning which is really out of the ordinary for her. She kept crying, "I want Daddy." And the other night, I found Matthew crying in his bed while holding a picture of Chris. He kept saying, "this is not how we wanted to live. This is not how we wanted to live." As always, I ask that you please continue to keep us in your prayers. I am truly convinced that they are working and I don't know how long this road to recovery is going to be for us.

On a much, much happier note. I thought I would close by sharing a link to a wonderful blog about Chris' Golf Memorial. The link is http://emilyhernandezphotography.blogspot.com/2009/08/inaugural-chris-weier-golf-outing.html . Emily was hired by Jim and Christin Mangan to photograph the day's events. If you get a chance please check it out. She is very talented and I really appreciate all of her hard work that day.
Here is one of the pictures from the Memorial:
Thanks for checking in on the Dundee Weiers. Please have a safe and fun Labor Day weekend! God bless, Betsy.