Some good news and a random question out of nowhere

The Dundee Weiers had a very nice weekend because my brother, Todd, was in town for the first time since starting his new job out in Fort Collins. I mentioned in an earlier post that Tammy was staying here to sell the house. The good news is that their house sold this week! I am so happy for them but sad for us. We selfishly were hoping (and expecting given the housing market) that it would take longer. But I hated to see Tammy stressed and am excited that they will all get to be together again soon.

We had a slumber party at our house on Friday night while I watched the kids and let Todd and Tammy go out. Then on Saturday the cousins spent most of the day together followed by dinner and another slumber party over at the Zellers. Uncle RoRo (Robb) came out from the city and joined us for dinner. After we got the kids to bed, we watched The Hangover and I cried from laughing so hard!

Saturday morning, I was able to pay it forward so to speak and together with some of the other "Bible Girls" clean the Kettner house. On top of taking care of Carter, the rest of the Kettner clan got hit with the flu this past week and really needed some help. With Bowen visiting his cousins, we gave Joe and Cinnamon a chance to go out for breakfast while we cleaned house and kept an eye on Carter. He is such a sweet little boy with an amazing set of parents. What a humbling experience for me to see how they are able to continuously take care of Carter, literally around the clock, for almost a year now. I honestly don't know if I could keep up that level of strength all the time.

With Papa out of town since this past Wednesday, it has been interesting to be alone in the house with just Matthew, Megan and Hannah. My family and friends continue to be very helpful and don't let me go too long without a break from being a single parent! Tonight the kids and I went to 5:30 mass at St. Mary's and then I came home to feed them a quick dinner and put them to bed. As the four of us were eating dinner, Matthew out of nowhere started crying and said, "Mommy, I really wish you would have let me go to the hospital to see Daddy on the day he died." OUCH! Where the heck did this come from? We had gotten through the holidays and I honestly thought things were finally moving forward, not necessarily moving on, but being able to breathe again without pain and to have hope again. I was just telling Todd and Tammy this weekend how being in a new year has really helped more than I ever thought it would. So how come this is happening now to Matthew?

With my "bag of tricks" empty, I did not know how to respond to him. It was dead silent at the table and all three of them were looking at me waiting for my explanation. I carefully told them in detail what happened that day and how I did not know when I got to the hospital that Daddy had died. I told them I decided not to bring them to the hospital because I did not want them to be afraid of what they might see and that is why I waited for them to see Daddy at his wake. Matthew's reply to me was, "I could have handled it at the hospital, I see it all the time on TV." Dang he is too smart for me!

I was once again reminded that we all grieve differently and on different timetables. What I forgot was that in addition to dealing with my own grief, I have to help Matthew, Megan and Hannah deal with theirs too. And they process things so differently than I do. It's like they need to see it to believe it and understand it. I had not "checked in" with them in a while and it came back to bite! I asked them if they wanted me to drive them by the hospital that Daddy was taken to and they said yes. I only hope they don't make me take them inside! They then said they wanted to take balloons to Daddy again at the cemetery. We hadn't done that in awhile so it looks like I'll be heading to the party store tomorrow!

Thanks for checking in on us. Hope everyone has a good week. Take care, Betsy

Hannah turns 3 years old!

Dear Hannah,

You have reached a big milestone, you are now officially three years old! As with your brother and sister, I thought I would write to you to let you know how much joy you have brought into our family since the day you were born.

You continue to be my saving grace. After a scary pregnancy with Megan and a traumatic delivery with Matthew, I told Daddy that we were definitely having another one just to help erase the bad memories from the prior two experiences! Your pregnancy and delivery were the most pleasant and painless experiences by far. If you do the math someday :), you will figure out that you were Daddy's nine-month-belated birthday present. And even though I remember being very tired and uncomfortable, my pregnancy with you was uneventful. You grew just perfectly that even though your due date was January 12th, my doctor said I could deliver you one week early. Daddy, being an accountant, tried negotiating with the doctor to let you out before the end of the year to get one more deduction. But Dr. Coll refused. And so on January 5th, 2007, Daddy drove me to Good Shepherd hospital in Barrington, IL where you were born at 10:39AM.

I remember seeing you for the first time and thinking how much you looked like your brother, Matthew, when he was born. You had the same dark hair and dark eyes as he did. But as you have grown, I am told on almost a daily basis by complete strangers how much you look like me. The one thing you did keep though was Daddy's hazel eyes. That I am so happy you have kept.

Daddy and I had already agreed to the name Hannah but we had no ideas for a middle name. Your Aunt Ya-ya (Jaime) and Nana Zeller were at the hospital when you were born and they suggested "Christine" after Daddy's name, Christopher. Daddy LOVED that idea and I finally said okay - but it was more because I like the sound of it together with "Hannah". Little did I know just how important that decision would be less than two and a half years later. I am so so so very thankful we named you after Daddy.

You were a very good baby. I remember you being really quiet and laid back until around six months when you discovered your voice. You quickly learned how to scream for attention over the constant commotion from your brother and sister. From that point on, you convinced yourself that you were in charge and to this day you still act like the oldest, not the youngest, sibling. Thank goodness Matthew and Megan love you so much because they continue to let you get away with it!

You also get away with a lot from me. You are so funny and loving that it is hard to be strict with you. And what a ball of energy you are! I constantly find you on the counters trying to get to the gum and candy in the kitchen cabinet. You have a serious sweet tooth. You also like to pull out the drawers between the kitchen sink and the island to swing like a monkey. Which is why just today while at your three year check up with Dr. Maw you said your full name is, "Hannah Banana Weier".

Hannah, I don't think I will ever be able to fully express how very sorry I am that Daddy died when you were so young. It breaks my heart to know that you will most likely never remember him at all. That is why I talk about him every day with you . I have to try to keep his memory alive for you. I hope to God that you will at least remember the stories I share with you even though you might not remember him. You came up with a little prayer ever since Daddy died and I hope you never forget it. You say, "I love you Daddy. Have fun in Heaven with Jesus. Amen."

I love you Hannah. Daddy loves you, too. Amen.

Hannah and a few of her friends

Hannah and her pinata

Trying to keep Hannah's fingers out of the cake!

Party #2 with Hannah and her cousins

Prayers for Carter

Hi. Its me again. I know, so soon! But this is somewhat of an urgent request. I have the privilege of knowing the Kettner family from Huntley, Il and need to ask you to please pray for all of them - Joe, Cinnamon, Carter (6), and Bowen (2). I met the mother, Cinnamon, through St. Mary's nursery program and also attend the Mom's Bible Study with her. Cinnamon's son, Carter, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer last February. One of my favorites memories of this past holiday season was when the kids and I and a few hundred of the Kettner's closest friends, along with Santa of course, surprised them by showing up at their house on December 23rd (in the freezing rain) to sing Christmas carols for Carter. It was truly an amazing experience and one that I know Matthew, Megan and Hannah will never forget.

Carter, however, is back in the hospital and not doing well at all. Please please please pray for him and his family that they will have the strength necessary to get through this and to find the answers they need from the doctors. If you would like to learn more about the amazing Carter, you can check out his website at http://www.carterkettner.org/.

P.S. On another note, today is Miss Hannah's 3rd birthday! I will be sure to get another update of her special day soon. Until then, take care!

New Year!

Hello 2010!! What took you so long to get here? I just wanted to send a post to wish everyone a Happy New Year and let you know the Dundee Weiers survived the holidays. Yeah! All things considered, we had a very nice Christmas. I appreciate all the cards, emails, phone calls, and messages to check in and let us know you are still thinking of us. I, however, did not get around to sending Christmas cards. I am sure you can understand, especially since it was Chris' job in the past! If I had gotten around to it, it would have been something like this:

Happy Holidays from the Weiers!

My goal was to give Matthew, Megan and Hannah as normal a Christmas as possible and so I still kept some old traditions. The house still got decorated thanks to my Aunt Linda who came to visit the first weekend of December. She and Megan put up the tree and garland and hung the stockings over the fireplace. We also played lots of Christmas music and watched our favorite holiday movies throughout the month. I managed to get my shopping done with the help of some "elves" and good babysitters. And we still had Christmas at my mom's the Sunday before Christmas. My mom can throw the best Christmas brunch! The kids had a blast with their cousins and I enjoyed spending time with my parents and siblings. Thanks Mom!

Some things were also done differently. We had Chris' parents come out to our house Christmas Eve. We used to not go to their house until Christmas day. They went to mass at St. Mary's with us on Christmas Eve and then we all came back to my house where Tammy and Todd helped make an awesome dinner. After the Zellers left, the Weier's spent the night and helped Mommy get ready for Santa. Thank God for Lynn's wrapping! She is the fastest wrapper I have ever met. The kids woke up around 6AM on Christmas morning and it was over by 6:10! All that hard work, OVER in ten minutes. It was worth it though to have all three of them say it was the best Christmas ever. Mission accomplished!

After that, we went next door to Jim and Christin's to exchange gifts with Brendan and baby Sean. Then we got ready to head to Lake Forest to Lynn and Dick's for Christmas with them and the Indiana Weiers who came up on Monday. On our way out of town, we stopped by Todd and Tammy's to say goodbye before they left for Des Moines where Tammy's parents live. It was also our farewell to Uncle Todd who has taken a new job in Colorado. He will head out to Ft. Collins from Des Moines while Tammy is staying here to sell their house and let Cade and Zoey finish school. I am so happy that Todd has finally found such a great opportunity. I just wish it was not so far away and so soon after losing Chris. I don't think it has fully sunk in yet because Tammy is still here with the kids. Please say a prayer for Todd and Tammy and that the house sells!

The kids and I also stopped by the cemetery. Daddy got his headstone for Christmas. As weird as that is to type, I have to say I am really pleased with how it looks and know in my heart that Chris is too.

And the best gift I received this Christmas came when I was at Lynn and Dick's house. I was going through all of the pictures that Dick has taken over the years and came across several of Chris and Hannah together! I was devastated to realize that I only had two pictures of just the two of them together. Chris was always the one taking the pictures in our family and so he is not in many of them with her since she was born. But Dick saved the day and has several that I was not aware of. Thank you so much Dick! I cannot possibly put into words how much I appreciate what you have done. Just to share some of my favorites.....

As always, thank you for checking in on us. Wishing all of you a very blessed new year! Take care, Betsy