The Dundee Weiers had a very nice weekend because my brother, Todd, was in town for the first time since starting his new job out in Fort Collins. I mentioned in an earlier post that Tammy was staying here to sell the house. The good news is that their house sold this week! I am so happy for them but sad for us. We selfishly were hoping (and expecting given the housing market) that it would take longer. But I hated to see Tammy stressed and am excited that they will all get to be together again soon.
We had a slumber party at our house on Friday night while I watched the kids and let Todd and Tammy go out. Then on Saturday the cousins spent most of the day together followed by dinner and another slumber party over at the Zellers. Uncle RoRo (Robb) came out from the city and joined us for dinner. After we got the kids to bed, we watched The Hangover and I cried from laughing so hard!
Saturday morning, I was able to pay it forward so to speak and together with some of the other "Bible Girls" clean the Kettner house. On top of taking care of Carter, the rest of the Kettner clan got hit with the flu this past week and really needed some help. With Bowen visiting his cousins, we gave Joe and Cinnamon a chance to go out for breakfast while we cleaned house and kept an eye on Carter. He is such a sweet little boy with an amazing set of parents. What a humbling experience for me to see how they are able to continuously take care of Carter, literally around the clock, for almost a year now. I honestly don't know if I could keep up that level of strength all the time.
With Papa out of town since this past Wednesday, it has been interesting to be alone in the house with just Matthew, Megan and Hannah. My family and friends continue to be very helpful and don't let me go too long without a break from being a single parent! Tonight the kids and I went to 5:30 mass at St. Mary's and then I came home to feed them a quick dinner and put them to bed. As the four of us were eating dinner, Matthew out of nowhere started crying and said, "Mommy, I really wish you would have let me go to the hospital to see Daddy on the day he died." OUCH! Where the heck did this come from? We had gotten through the holidays and I honestly thought things were finally moving forward, not necessarily moving on, but being able to breathe again without pain and to have hope again. I was just telling Todd and Tammy this weekend how being in a new year has really helped more than I ever thought it would. So how come this is happening now to Matthew?
With my "bag of tricks" empty, I did not know how to respond to him. It was dead silent at the table and all three of them were looking at me waiting for my explanation. I carefully told them in detail what happened that day and how I did not know when I got to the hospital that Daddy had died. I told them I decided not to bring them to the hospital because I did not want them to be afraid of what they might see and that is why I waited for them to see Daddy at his wake. Matthew's reply to me was, "I could have handled it at the hospital, I see it all the time on TV." Dang he is too smart for me!
I was once again reminded that we all grieve differently and on different timetables. What I forgot was that in addition to dealing with my own grief, I have to help Matthew, Megan and Hannah deal with theirs too. And they process things so differently than I do. It's like they need to see it to believe it and understand it. I had not "checked in" with them in a while and it came back to bite! I asked them if they wanted me to drive them by the hospital that Daddy was taken to and they said yes. I only hope they don't make me take them inside! They then said they wanted to take balloons to Daddy again at the cemetery. We hadn't done that in awhile so it looks like I'll be heading to the party store tomorrow!
Thanks for checking in on us. Hope everyone has a good week. Take care, Betsy
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